Believing in Fairytales
by jezrafaa
Summary: Nicholas Rush had always been in control of his own thoughts, but ever since he has woken up after being cryogenically frozen for three years his life doesn't quite seem like his own anymore. Rumble/Rushbell
1. Chapter 1

So I just wanted to state that you probably won't get an update soon because I am giving my thesis defense and moving in the following week, and I'm not certain of where this is going because it wouldn't leave my mind and I have a lot of more important things to do (like finish at least five other stories that I have started and not had the chance to finish, on top of graduating). I will try to update as soon as possible, but my life is going to be super busy. Feel free to review, it will help me remember to take the time to relax and type.

If I own either SGU or OUAT I wouldn't be searching for a job.

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Rush hated sleeping. Nothing was accomplished, and he had far more important things to do, like making sure everyone lived, then to have a lay about. He had always slept very little and the more work he had the more he couldn't sleep. It had gotten worse after his wife's death, and steadily increased to the point where by the time his head hit his pillow he was practically leaping back out of bed. And that was before they had all been cryogenically frozen for three years.

Now he slept as little as possible, trying to keep as far away from unconsciousness. He had slept for three endless years, three endless years of dreaming. And that was the real reason that Rush refused to sleep because he didn't dream like the others. He didn't have nonsense drivel or fantasy floating around in his head, not usually. Whenever he slept memories danced behind his eyelids, and all of them were nightmares. Because what else would you consider more a nightmare than waking up and knowing that no matter what you do or how hard you try it will never undo the horrible events of the past. His wife Gloria, the people on Icarus, all the crew that had died by his hands (Franklin, Riley, Ginn, the list goes on), Lisa becoming blind, the loss of Ginn again, and Mandy, not just twice, but three times.

The last had been the most recent. They had only been out of their three year slumber for an hour at most when everything went wrong at once, and he had been utterly useless. Eli had been the one to figure out what was wrong, and eventually how to fix it, but it came at a very high price. In the three years that they had been sleeping the computer system had slowly been becoming corrupt, a virus that had been downloaded into Destiny's main hard-drive from the library computer on Novus. Amanda and Ginn had done their best to prevent it spread from inside the system, but in the end Eli had to either repair or delete all the corrupted files.

They were lucky that they had lost so little data that Destiny originally had, but they lost all of the files from Novus and Amanda, who had already had been corrupted beforehand. In the end, three days after waking up, Rush was the one that was able separate Ginn and Amanda, it had been in hopes that they could save both. Ginn had been fine and saved, but Amanda's data had been so corrupted that no amount of repair could have fixed her. She would have been a shadow of herself and Nicholas couldn't bear the thought of her living as fragmented thoughts, which was all that was left of her. He had finally after days of trying to recover her, any part of her, had deleted her from the system.

No one was able to look him in the eye for weeks. Colonel Young was the first, not that Rush cared, and Eli still couldn't look him in the eye, his guilt a heavy curtain while they were in the same room together. Rush didn't care what they thought of him, he was just tired of their pity, and angry at his inability to help sooner. Because it had taken him three days to collect himself after waking up, three wasted days where he could have, should have been able to save her. But he had been so far out of his mind, that he hadn't been able to do anything.

He couldn't help but feel guilty about it even though he had had no control over it. It had been difficult enough to wake up and think that you were someone else, admittedly they, he, had a similar personality to how Rush normally acted, but there had been differences. He had been quieter and less argumentative, but when forced to speak he had been brutal, ruthless, and cruel far beyond his usual callousness. He hadn't recognized anyone or anything and had used his fear to fuel his anger of not understanding what was happening.

The only thing he could think of was that it had been a different consciousness like with what had happened with Chloe, but he remembered what had happened, what he had been thinking and feeling, and more importantly learning. He had to admit, the man that he had been was ruthlessly smart, and could manipulate anyone after only knowing them for a few minutes.

But it had still caused him to lose Mandy, not that the person he had been cared all that much. So to assuage his guilt he had spent all of his waking moments that he wasn't working on necessary things, like faulty shielding that was slowly leaking oxygen, trying to get more control over Destiny, and in general saving everyone's lives, he had been going over the data read outs of the three days that he had been monitored. He knew Eli and Lt. Johansen were also trying to figure out what had caused him to become a whole different person, but neither one of them could find anything.

Rush had eventually moved on to the read outs of when he had been frozen for three years. They were unlike any of the other crew members, something that he would have been unsurprised about if it hadn't had such a dire cost. Eventually he had had to work with Eli and TJ to go over the read outs hoping that they could point out or show him something that he had missed.

They hadn't. All three of them had come up with the exact same results.

Rush had not been sleeping those three years, he had been remembering. And not only had he been remembering, he had been reliving someone's complete life from start to finish (One of the reasons why he had been so scared and angry was he remembered dying only to wake up on Destiny, younger than he should have been and without his family. He had thought that he had been cursed somehow).

A life that the data indicated was his and not someone else's, the brain waves and data patterns all identical to his own.

After finding that out Eli had wanted him to record what he had experienced on a damn kino, but there was no way in hell he was ever telling anyone who he had thought he had been. There was no way that the ideas and thoughts that he had had were his own. Which was the true reason why he avoided sleeping at all cost because every time he fell asleep he woke up a different person hoping to see bright blue eyes and a smile to greet him, ached at the missing smell of roses, and the lingering thoughts for hours that were not his own irritating while he worked. Because they were **not** his own, he refused to believe that they were.

And he would die before admitting that the man that he had thought he was, was a child's fairytale character. A darker more viscous version of a fairytale character, who only redeeming quality was the people he loved.

Now if he could only stop the high pitched giggling that echoed in the back of his mind or the random appearance of objects that he needed, everything could get back to normal and he could get more than a few moments of sleep every five days.

He didn't think that it would that easy though. It never was on Destiny.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Sorry it took so long. I had most of it written ages ago, but my thesis and life in general got in the way. I'll be hopefully updating sooner!

Again neither of these shows are mine. Enjoy!

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He moaned at the feeling of her around him, the taste of her on his tongue, and the faint sent of roses, her, and him filling his lungs. Her name whimpered from his lips as he bent down and kissed her as she gasped when he shifted his weight. She wrapped her legs higher around his waist and raked her nails down his back when he moved deeper inside of her. The hand that was tangled in her hair tilted her head back so he could nip and kiss down the pale column of her throat. His other hand moved in between them, softly running across her collar bone to her breasts, cupping, pinching, and twisting in just the way to make her moan out his name, long and low.

His hand traveled farther down the plain of her body gently scratching her side and squeezing her hip before reaching in between them. He traced the path that his hand took with his mouth, nipping her collar bone and lavishing open mouth kisses on her pale skin. He could tell she was close by her inability to complete his name, gasping her nickname for him over and over, each time louder the closer she got. His hand moved from in between them to her lower back, keeping her steady as he moved faster and rubbing his thumb over the script that he had placed there as his claim on her.

He can feel her muscles flutter around him, clamping down harder with every thrust. She is so close his name has become a begging plea and he is so very willing to grant her every desire. He desperately close himself and his movements become more and more erratic. He feels, more than hears, her intake of breath and he knows she is about to scream his name.

"RUSH," blares a male voice straight through him dream, startling him so much that he falls out of his bed.

"Bloody FUCKING hell," he snarls to the door as he tries to untangle himself from his bed sheets.

"Oh good, you're awake. The Colonel wants to see you. It's important Rush, so don't take your sweet time," the man's voice filters through the door, the smugness not remotely concealed.

He takes a moment to glare through the closed door at the man that is standing in the hallway. The man, though arrogant, seems to be concerned and was getting irritated that he was being ignored. Good, whoever this idiot is he needs to learn to not interrupt his slumber.

"Rush? If you've fallen back asleep or are ignoring me I'll drag you out of there," the words are said with scathing venom, as if the man has no fear of repercussions and will be listened to.

He is moving on from irritation to anger, willing the man to shut up so that he doesn't wake up his wife. Obviously he had the wrong place because there is no Rush here. Briefly glancing at the bed he pauses in shock. His wife isn't there, the bed isn't his, and the room doesn't even remotely look like his at home. Where the hell was he?

He can't help that he starts to panic. He doesn't know where his is or where his wife is or how he got here. And nothing looks how it should.

The door slides open and it makes him jump. Doors didn't open that way. The only time he had seen a door open like that was on the television in the other world. How on earth did he get back to it? He doesn't want to be here. He wants his happy ending back!

"God damn it, Rush! We don't have-" the man stops, a look of confusion crosses his face. He reaches for a radio at his side, "Colonel, we have a problem."

"I don't care if you have to haul him here! Get him up here NOW!"

"Sir, yes sir. Well you heard the man," not caring that the man before him may not remember where they were or who he even was.

"I'm getting dressed first," he sneers to the soldier, pulling himself up off the floor.

"You'd better hurry," is the only reply he receives and it is said in a low and smooth voice, dripping with threats. But he isn't stupid. The man reeks of uncertainty and just a bit of fear. He knows how to spot a desperate soul, and this man is whether he wants to admit it or not. By the time he is putting on the vest that was lying about, the man was shoving him a walkie-talkie and out the door.

"Is that really necessary Greer," the name spills from his lips like he has known it for years, the taste of the syllables dancing on his tongue. Master St. Ronald Greer. With the name comes memories, he is on the spaceship Destiny, he has died and (most likely) been reincarnated into Dr. Nicholas Rush. It's a bit disappointing that he hasn't really learned from his past mistakes, but neither of his warring personas like people in general so it doesn't bother him too much.

He pities the man he has become because all he has done is add onto the list of people they have disappointed, and unlike him, Rush will not have the chance to make it up to them because they are already gone and beyond his ability to reach. Even he cannot stop or reverse death, and he knows what it is like to live a lifetime without having the hope of fixing it. He sympathizes with himself, but neither the loss of Rush's dead wife or 'girlfriend' compares to the loss of Belle. She is his true love, his soul mate, and he will not stop until he finds her. He's just unsure of what he will do with Rush once that happens. He is not keen on sharing, even if it is with himself.

He pushes the thoughts aside when he hears the alarms going off, and it isn't just one, it's several. He rushes to the bridge and waits impatiently as the door opens, allowing the noise to spill out of the room. By the time he has reached the commander's chair all of the memories of the last time he was coherent are back. He doesn't give Colonel Young the chance to yell before he is barking for him to get out of the chair. He doesn't have time for this if they all want to live from the sounds of the alarms.

He takes the seat and throws himself into searching for the problem that is causing all the other ones. Computers are not so difficult to use and he has a much larger wealth of knowledge pertaining to ancient languages then his counterpart, for anything else he uses Rush's memories. It takes him a very short time to figure out that what is happening is due to the missing data that had been corrupted when they woke up five months ago. Rush and Eli had been working on it by rewriting and creating program data that are as similar to the originals as possible, but too many things have gone wrong since then and the problem has been pushed aside time after time at the Colonel's insistence and vehemently against Rush's own. The issue now is the fact that he doesn't know if it is their coding or the missing data that they haven't been able to recreate or both.

"Get Chloe and Dr. Park up here now. Eli get started-"

"I've been working on it the minute the alarms started, unlike some people."

As the last words come out of his mouth they not only drop out of FTL, but the engines completely die and they're left floating as all of their systems one by one start shutting down. He doesn't say a word to the Colonel, but the glare sent his way is sufficient enough to tell the man that it's his fault that this has happened. The only thing that stays functional is life support and that is because he and Eli's quick thinking.

For the next five hours he, Eli, and Chloe sat around going through all the program data looking for mistakes and missing data. They almost have everything online, but it's only temporary until they can replicate Destiny's actual coding, and they have to figure it out sooner rather than later because the engines are still offline. Rush/Rumplestiltskin leans back and rubs his face. They're safe for now, but there is still work to be done.

"Where the hell is Dr. Park," Rush/Rumplestiltskin bellows. He is tired, and had demanded her presence hours ago. He wants everyone that could possibly be helpful working on this.

"Shouldn't you want Brody and Volker help?" asked Eli.

"No, they are looking to see if we can manually over-ride the engines. I want Dr. Park here now," he demanded.

"You will behave Rush," was the only warning he received from behind them before the Colonel sighed and asked for her presence though the radios.

"Tell her to meet me at the infirmary," he changing his mind before getting up and leaving, ignoring Eli's question as he left.

"What is he doing?" echoed throughout Destiny's metallic walls. It was followed closely by the Colonel's irritated voice calling his name, and harsh footsteps.


End file.
